Using the World: Technology in the Christian Life

6 weeks ago, I had facebook, email, a borrowed computer, and a go phone with no data or texting.  Now I’ve got facebook, a facebook page, email, my own computer, a smartphone with a few dozen apps, twitter, linkedin, and a website.  The world is very different.

I held out for as long as I could–I didn’t get a cell phone at all until I was out of grad school and then it was one of these models:

But after going cold turkey when I entered the convent (and for about 9 months after leaving), I discerned that it was time to enter the 21st century.  A big part of my discernment of the vocation to consecrated virginity (God willing) was that I feel that I’ve been called to be in the world.  Religious¹ are called to leave the world, however much they might have to interact with the world for the sake of their ministry.  They have the luxury (and discipline) of rejecting many good things in pursuit of something greater.  Consecrated virgins, like diocesan priests and lay people, are called to be in the world but not of it, to use the world but not use it fully (1 Cor 7:31).

I began to realize, both in the convent and in the months after leaving, that the Lord has blessed me with the ability to be fairly detached from material things.  I’m able to listen to secular music without being affected, really, by what it glorifies.  I’m able to be sarcastic without being hurtful (I hope).  I’m able to be online without being a hot mess.  A lot of the way I connect with people to do God’s work involves being in the world.

With this new step into full-time blogging and speaking, I figured I had to be more connected.  And now here I am with everything in the world at my fingertips and so much to procrastinate–help!

So I’ve come up with some technology guidelines to help me keep myself in check.  I know it’s ridiculous to publish a list of smartphone rules when I’ve had mine for, like, 15 seconds, but I’ve been judging people’s smartphone habits since the things first came out, so I’ll do it anyway.  Adults, some of these will be obvious to you.  They are not obvious to your children.

1. Be present.  Oh my gosh, put your phone away!  I’ve had kids arrange to meet with me and then pour their hearts out to me while checking their text messages.

First of all, RUDE!  If I’m not worth your time, why are you wasting mine?  Second, how can you really engage in this conversation and be open to what I have to say if you can’t shut everything else off for 20 minutes?

This is the reason I’m writing this days ahead of time–when you read it, I’ll be on a mission trip.  I’ll have wi-fi, but I want to be present to the people who are there, so I’m going to try not to use it.  So make the same rule for yourself–put your phone away when you’re with friends or family.

My rule for my students on the way to and from retreats has always been that if they’re using a phone or ipod or whatever together, it’s fine.  But if they’re plugged in alone, we’ve got a problem.  Once they shut the world out, they’re missing real life for their virtual world.  If whatever you’re doing in real life is worth your attention, don’t divide yourself.

2. Don’t replace human interaction.  I’ve actually had teens tell me that the reason they drink is because they don’t know how to have a conversation.  Everything “meaningful” in their lives takes place over text message or twitter.  Tell me again how relationships can develop in snippets of fewer than 140 characters?

I’ve known kids to start dating, have a “relationship,” and break up all via text.  So when they’re in a room with actual human beings and expected to engage in social behavior that people have been engaging in for millennia, they panic and supplement their electronic awkwardness with awkwardness of the good, old-fashioned drunken kind.

Oh, and then post all the pictures on facebook so they don’t have to tell anyone the next day.

All this social media can be great, but it’s easy to use it to hide from real life.  Have real friends.  Have conversations.  Have evenings with no cell phones.  You’ll find you have plenty to talk about.

3. Be alone with yourself sometimes.  A while back, I was with a bunch of kids in adoration.  One of them prayed for a while, went to confession, prayed a little more, then pulled out his cell phone.  When I called him on it, he told me he didn’t like to be alone with his thoughts so he had to find something to fill the silence.  That’s a problem!  The more you fill your life with good things–music and games and texting and facebook–the worse those things become.

There’s a reason people are still taking off to “find themselves” at 30 or 40–they’re so scared to be alone with themselves that they’ve filled their lives with noise so they don’t have to deal with their real issues.

Avoid the quarter-life crisis: take some time every day with no phone, no music–just you, yourself, and you.  I recommend inviting God, too.

4. Pretend you’re not dependent on technology.  Don’t google everything.  If you can’t remember who played Zack Morris, wait 30 seconds before you look it up!  Seriously, your brain will atrophy if you don’t use it every once in a while.  And don’t rely on spell check.  It will fail you, your teacher will fail you, and your parents will fail to sympathize.  Also, “u” is not a word.  If you use it again, I will punch you in the face.  It’s two extra letters.  It won’t kill you.

5. Do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus. (Col 3:17)  All this new media is great for feeding your soul and spreading the Gospel, but you have to make an effort if you want to jump on board with the New Evangelization.  Follow some Christian blogs along with Cakewrecks and Paula Deen.  Tweet about today’s Saint.  Share good Christian articles on facebook–this guy knows how it’s done.  Get some of the many sweet apps with prayers or readings or Saint quotations.  How cool would it be if your iphone made you a Saint?

On that note, run, run, RUN from anything impure.  Get yourself some serious porn protection so that your firewall is strong when your flesh is weak.  Tape pictures of your sister and the Blessed Virgin Mary to your computer if that keeps you from losing your soul.  You know what you need to do.

I think it comes down to this: as in all things, be intentional.  Technology can be addictive (case in point: it’s 1am.  I have to pack up everything and be out the door at 7:30.  But–but–Pinterest!) but it can also be a great gift.  Choose when to be plugged in and when to unplug and be still.  Make specific rules for yourself if that helps–no facebook after 10pm, only an hour of Angry Birds a day, never ever ever click “Popular” on Pinterest, that sort of thing.

Be in the world, but not of it.  Use the world, but don’t use it fully.  Don’t let social media and cell phones dictate who you are and how you live.  It’s easy to let the internet run your life.  You’re better than that.

Because Catholics are awesome and have patron Saints for everything, let’s ask for some help from the patron of the internet.  St. Isidore, pray for us.

 

I’m offline until June 29th.  The posts will keep coming, but I won’t reply to anything for a while.  Be patient with me 🙂

1. People who take vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience–nuns, sisters, monks, etc. [↩]