A Year in the Word–Memorize Scripture with Me!

Every time I read the Bible, I see more and more passages I wish I had memorized. This year, I’m doing something about it, and I want you to join me. I was going to pick 50 (short) passages for the 50 weeks left this year…but then I counted up how many I had picked from the Old Testament alone and realized it was going to have to be 50 from each Testament. Then I thought I should invite y’all to join me, so I’d need pretty graphics for them. Then I figured I might was well tell you why I picked each pair.

And before you know it, I found myself writing a weekly column over at Aleteia like I was a real grown-up writer or something! Mostly I’m excited because their reach is far greater than mine and I really think that this year God’s asking me to help Catholics fall in love with his word. So many of y’all are doing it by reading the Bible daily with me–now we’re going to memorize it too! Are you in? Please say you’re in, I really want you to do this with me!

Sneak preview--subject to change.
Sneak preview–subject to change.

I’ve always been rather slow when it comes to New Year’s Resolutions. Ask me on January 1st about my “new year new you” plan and you’ll get a blank stare. But a few weeks later something may just have developed. This year, all I’m feeling is a need to have my heart filled with God’s word. I’ve been thrilled to see how many of you are getting on board with the One Year Bible plan, but it’s not enough for us to skim the surface, reading for consumption rather than letting ourselves be consumed. We need to commit Scripture to memory so it ends up running through our veins, coloring our perspective, correcting and forming us.

In a world where all information seems to be a few swipes away, the idea of learning anything by heart is rather foreign. Why bother memorizing Scripture when I can just Google it? For one thing, because Googling “Bible verses when you’re sad” might not help much. For another, because it might not occur to you that you need a Bible verse, but if they’re already swirling about in your subconscious, they might surface just when you need them.

Read more at Aleteia!

The Day You Were Adopted

This weekend, I stood beside a baptismal font and wept as my friends’ little boys were buried with Christ and raised to new life. Now, I’ve been to one or two (or twenty) baptisms. And I always get excited when I watch God’s beloved born again. But there was something different this time. Johnny and Lele are 5 years old but they’ve only been with their family for 6 months. So when we listened to the opening prayer for the feast of the Baptism of the Lord on the eve of their baptism, I don’t know that any 5-year-olds were ever more excited by a collect:

Almighty ever-living God, who, when Christ had been baptized in the River Jordan and as the Holy Spirit descended upon him, solemnly declared him your beloved Son, grant that your children by adoption, reborn of water and the Holy Spirit, may always be well pleasing to you.

Jesus was baptized, just like them! And God’s children are adopted, just like them!

Charlton baptismWhen the Gospel described the Father’s declaration, “This is my beloved son with whom I am well pleased,” Johnny’s face crinkled in joy as his mother whispered, “That’s you!” As dozens of friends and family members watched him in his pristine white suit, Lele leaned into his mom for security while Johnny bravely refused to hold his dad’s hand. And I stood there, having studied and taught and witnessed baptism time and time again, and understood better than I ever have.

Johnny and Lele adore their mommy and daddy. Nearly every night, Johnny wakes up and makes his way into their bed. He has no fear that they won’t want him, no insecurity. That’s his mom and dad—of course they want him. Lele snuggles into his dad when he’s taking a break from his wild game of marbles. Johnny calls for his mommy when he hurts himself. Dave and Janel aren’t their foster parents or second chance parents, they’re just their parents. It’s a complete and certain and unconditional relationship.

So when they heard that the Father was adopting them, they got it. God was going to be their daddy now. Not like their daddy. Their real, actual, no-holding-back, love-you-till-you-die (and then some) daddy. The Church isn’t like their family. It is their family. Jesus is their real big brother, their role model and best friend and family forever.

This is what happened to you on the day of your baptism. God the Father looked down from heaven, laughing for joy, and cried out, “That’s my boy!” or “That’s my girl!” And because he said it, it became true. You aren’t like his child, you are his child. He’s the one who cleans you up when you wet the bed, the one who holds you when you’re crying and you don’t know why, the one who yells too loud when you get fouled and even louder when you make the free throw. He’s not your stern father by some legal fiction, he’s your daddy who spent his life longing for you and came looking for you and did whatever it took to get you home with him.

This daddy of yours holds you close and whispers his love in your ear. He makes you mac and cheese and warns you sternly to eat it when you’re too distracted to take a bite. He loves you just like you’re really his child—because you are really his child.

Some of us take the love of our Father for granted. More of us don’t really believe it. We feel more like God’s our boss or our uncle or the owner of the factory that churned us out. But Johnny and Lele know different. They know that God picked them. He came looking for them. He made them his very own little boys and he loves them just like they were his from the womb. He’s their daddy forever, no matter what.

thats my babyNext time you bless yourself with holy water, remember that at your baptism, heaven was torn open. Your angel twinkled, your saint friends turned cartwheels, and your Daddy shouted, “That’s my baby! And I am so, so pleased.”

 

(Can I speak a moment to birth parents? You are a hero. You are the mother taking her baby to the font offering him the life he deserves, even if it means letting go of him as you hand him to the Father. You are a gift and a triumph of God’s mercy. Thank you for the sacrifice you made and continue to make every day. Thank you for teaching me what it means to love.)

15 from 2015

It’s been a busy year, just like last year and the year before.

I took a lot of trains,

20150831_215812

headed to pilgrimages of one kind

The shrine at Knock, Ireland.
The shrine at Knock, Ireland.
Youth 2000 at Walsingham, England.
Youth 2000 in Walsingham, England.

and another.

20150309_160127

I went to a very important first communion,

2015-05-09 11.19.08
With Natalie in Chapel HIll, NC.

and became a godmother one more time.

With Teresa in Enid, OK.
With Teresa in Enid, OK.

I visited two oceans,

Irish coast, Atlantic ocean.
Atlantic Ocean (Ireland)
Pacific Ocean (California with girlfriends from high school)
Pacific Ocean (California with girlfriends from high school)

did Easter right,

At Notre Dame--there's nothing like it.
At Notre Dame–there’s nothing like it.

and laughed a whole lot.

Crosby, MN. It’s actually the best.

I visited a lot of friends,

saints
Matt Talbot (Dublin), Jean de Brebeuf and Gabriel Lalemant (Canada), Maria Goretti (Texas), Francis Xavier Seelos (New Orleans). Among others.

marveled at the faith of children,

Cecilia is a Dominican nun. John Paul is celebrating the Easter Vigil, complete with 7 readings.
Cecilia is a Dominican nun. John Paul is celebrating the Easter Vigil, complete with 7 readings.

and tried to share their passion for the Lord with the world.

With Katherine in Atlanta.
With Katherine in Atlanta.

I didn’t spend nearly enough time with this crowd

nieces and nephews

but spent a lot of time here (or the equivalent).

Somewhere near Houston.
Somewhere near Houston.

God is very good, friends. I really mean it when I say that none of this could happen without your prayerful support. I am absolutely indebted to you and more grateful than you can know.

A New Year’s Resolution for Singles

When I was 17, I was desperate to be married. I figured I’d have to wait until I graduated from college, but I was, as I would have told you emphatically, ready to be married.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ha.

When I was 23, already the single friend in my very Catholic crowd, I was even more desperate to be married. I’d read The Good News about Sex and Marriage and seen It’s a Wonderful Life and I knew exactly what marriage was. I used to pray, telling God that I was ready but that I understood that my husband might not be yet.

Sigh.

I’m sure some people who get married at 17 are ready.1 And plenty of people who get married at 23 do just fine. I was probably as ready as most. But I wonder sometimes what my life would be if I had.

I’d have a passel of kids—4 or 5, if my friends are any indication. My life would be frantically busy, leaving little time for the Lord. I wouldn’t be consumed with zeal for souls—that was trained into me in my years as a spiritual mother. I wouldn’t have much sympathy for sin or stupid drama—I learned that from loving my spiritual children. And I wouldn’t pray. Not with any regularity, anyway. Not beyond the rote.2

Then again, maybe I would. Maybe I would have progressed much faster with a partner. But ten years ago, I had absolutely no concept of the need for silent prayer and evangelization. It was the convent and the classroom that taught me those. Getting married young is a beautiful thing and I hope to God that all of you who are married are growing every day in piety and virtue. But if you’re not yet married, consider this: maybe what you need to become the spouse you ought to be is these (interminable) years alone.

I’ve taken to thinking of single life as a sort of novitiate. When you’re in religious life, you start with several years of training. Newbies—novices—are pulled even further away from the world, given fewer responsibilities and more time for prayer. They do very little work and have extra chapel time. They’re thrown into prayer so that when they withdraw a little from the cloister to re-enter the world as active religious or vowed contemplatives with more responsibilities, they’re grounded.

What if that’s how we treated the single years? You have tons of free time. The world says to use it to have all the fun possible, or at least to work extra and build up your savings account. But what if you used that time as an opportunity for increased prayer? Most childless single people, if they’re being honest with themselves, could make a holy hour every day. If you live in a major city, you can almost certainly get to daily Mass. Your commute is perfect for spiritual podcasts. Your bedroom can be a little cell, a place of silence. You could even plug your phone in somewhere other than your bedside table and spend your first waking moments with a book of the lives of the Saints or some quiet time with the day’s Gospel reading.

If you sucked the marrow out of your single life by using it to become a man or woman of deep prayer, marriage wouldn’t end that. I know that marriage is hard and kids take up every free moment and all the busy ones, too. But a person doesn’t go from an hour a day of prayer to nothing. Maybe you cut the Office or drop daily Mass to once a week. Maybe you pray the Rosary in fits and starts throughout the day instead of first thing in the morning. But if you’ve spent years scheduling your life around prayer, you’re going to go into marriage planning to pray.

Cecilia prayingI used to say there was no way I could pray as much as I need if I got married. And while I’m under no illusions that it’s easy to find time when you’re married with kids, I know that–by God’s grace–we could make it work. I could drop the Office and the Chaplet. I could cut back on spiritual reading. If I really look at what I need, it’s possible. If I go into marriage saying, “I need daily Mass and a half hour of silence with Jesus every day,” we’ll plan around it. We’ll get a house near a church with decent Mass times. We’ll make sure my husband can be home to relieve me before they lock the church or we’ll get a key or we’ll find an adoration chapel or I’ll learn to get up early or something. People make these sacrifices for things that matter and if prayer is what matters in our marriage, we’ll make it happen.

It’s the same with apostolic zeal. You can’t spend 5 years trying with everything you have to love kids closer to Jesus or feed the poor or welcome the immigrant and then just cut that off. It’ll take a different form, sure, but it’ll still be an essential part of your life. I know because I’ve seen it in countless couples whose marriages are for the Church and the world. It can be done.

And relationships. If you spend years cultivating soul-friends, you’re not going to drop them because you’ve said “I do.” You’re going to have people who challenge you and encourage you, people you can invite into your family and people who will invite you into theirs. You’ll have community, not just friends, and marriages thrive on community.

What this means is a marriage that’s focused on prayer—both individually and as a couple—on service to the world, and on Christian fellowship. Which is, I think, exactly what marriage should be.

Bride groom excitedI see plenty of these things in couples that got married the day after college graduation. Evidently, they did their novitiate while I was having every possible conversation with every possible person on campus. Or maybe they needed to do their novitiate together. Or maybe they didn’t figure it out until later in their marriage and really struggled for a while. But I think many would agree that if they had lived their single life more intentionally for the Lord, it would have blessed their marriage dramatically.

So to you who are single, whether lamentably or intentionally, let me issue a challenge for the New Year: restructure your life around Jesus. Resolve to be all for him. Try making one resolution for each of three categories:

  1. Prayer. Be honest, you’ve got the time. Unless you’re a first year teacher, you could probably even swing a daily holy hour. You could certainly do more than what you’re doing now. Ask yourself what you would do if you were a saint and then do that.
  2. Service. Teach a catechism class. Sort donations for refugees. Invite people to Mass with you. Be a missionary. Be pro-life. Serve your Church. Do something.
  3. Community. I get that most of your old friends are married with kids–believe me, I get that–and often that means that your schedules and interests don’t line up the way they did. So find a Catholic young adult group. Or join a group that isn’t focused on your demographic. Figure out a way to have fellowship with friends whose lives are pinned down by board books and lullabies at 7pm. Find one good friend to meet up with for a serious talk every month. Being single can destroy you if your longing for love isn’t met by your community but community doesn’t generally just happen to people. Go out and find it.

Figure out what matters most and live for that. Schedule in prayer time. Find a way to serve the world. Seek friends who are living for Christ and be intentional in the way you spend time together. Set a base-line for your life that would make Pier Giorgio Frassati proud. Then if the Lord ends up calling you to marriage, you and your beloved can approach your life together with the knowledge that without prayer, service, and the love of a community, you will starve.

Maybe the reason you’re still single is that the Lord is holding out hope that you’ll be so much more than you are right now. Marriage was designed to make saints, but it’s not magic. Live a novitiate now, and you’ll have some raw materials to bring to the table.

  1. Somewhere. In some foreign country? []
  2. This is me. It’s probably not you. Self-reflection, not an accusation. []

Nothing to Offer

Once upon a time there was a village that was just like every other village, but not in every way. Like everywhere else, there were wonderful people and also people who weren’t always wonderful. Like everywhere else, there were hard-working people and not-so-hard-working people. Like everywhere else there were school days and holidays and everyone wished there were fewer of the one and more of the other.

But unlike everywhere else, this little village had a great big king, king over all the other villages and towns and even cities, who came and walked in its streets. He wasn’t a usual sort of king, fancy and important on his faraway throne. No, this king knew his people. He could tell when Agata had let her bread rise longer than usual and when Polly’s tooth was hurting. He brought Frankie scraps to feed to his dog and always seemed to have a new color of paint for Angelo to try. Hardly a day went by that he couldn’t be seen playing dice with Matt or reading with Catherine.

And of course, the villagers loved their king—when they weren’t too busy for him, that is. Because even a king can become commonplace if he’s always around. So while most of the children could be seen running to him every time he strolled down the lane, many of the adults kept about their business, glancing up when he greeted them and murmuring a few words in appreciation of the gifts he’d brought them and their children. Most of them, it seems, took their king for granted.

But not all the time. Every year, as the ground began to freeze and the skies seemed to be gray more often than they were blue, the villagers’ thoughts would turn to their king. His birthday fell in the deep of winter and it was the custom in that place for each of the villagers to take him a gift, given straight into his own hands at the feast that celebrated his birth. It was a very solemn occasion, a time for best clothes and best manners with best gifts on display.

And there amid all the good and better and best was Cora. Cora lived in a small house at the edge of town, one of those homes that never had quite enough wood for the fire or potatoes for the pot. There was more yelling than was quite pleasant and it wouldn’t be fair to blame it all on the adults who lived there. Certainly they would have done well to speak more sweetly, but little Cora did quite a lot of yelling herself. Often she could be seen with her face, smudged with day-old dirt, screwed up in a scowl, walking down the lane kicking at stones and small children. Cora had a temper, and even her gentle king had felt her wrath when he’d crossed her path at the wrong time.

But Cora wasn’t all bad. And as the air turned chill and the first flakes began to fall from the heavy sky, Cora’s mind turned to the king’s birthday just like everyone else’s. The trouble was, she had nothing to give.

“Why don’t you write him a song?” asked little David, trying out a few notes on the flute the king had given him that spring.

“I don’t know how,” muttered Cora, wishing she could sing like David.

“I’m making him a painting,” Angelo said. “Why don’t you do something with the colored pencils he gave you?”

“I broke them when I couldn’t get my pictures to look right.”

When Cora walked past the well, Teresa was practicing her pirouettes. “I do think the king is going to love my dance. Probably best of all his gifts. Are you going to dance for him?”

But Cora had worn her dancing shoes to jump in mud puddles and they were quite ruined.

John was going to juggle, but whenever Cora tried she ended up throwing his balls into a ditch in frustration. Tom was writing a list of his favorite things about the king but Cora was sure her writing was too ugly. Clara was hard at work embroidering for the king but Cora’s just turned into a knotted mess.

“Just tell him how much you love him,” Cora’s grandmother suggested.

“That won’t be enough! I have nothing I can give him. Nothing at all! And everyone else will do something lovely and I’ll just stand there looking stupid. I hate this.”

As the days got shorter, the villagers spent more and more time perfecting their gifts. Bread was baked, wood whittled, and heads held high as projects turned out just as planned, until finally the day arrived. Children’s faces were scrubbed to shining before they were marched in their Sunday best to the palace. And when everyone was gathered, the ceremony began. One by one, the villagers walked forward to present their gifts to the king. Seated on his throne with his mother beside him, the king smiled with real pleasure as he saw the handiwork of his friends.

The village children stood tall and proud as they waited their turn—all but Cora, who shrank down in the crowd, hoping to be passed over. Finally, the king’s steward called out, “Are there any more gifts to be offered?” Silence, as Cora crossed all of her fingers and stared at the ground. Then:

“Cora. Dear heart, I don’t think you’ve had a chance yet.” It was the king’s mother, looking down at her with gentle, hopeful eyes. Cora couldn’t hide any more, so she dragged herself up to the front and pulled out a worn cardboard box.

“Here,” she muttered, and put it in the king’s hands before turning to walk away as quickly as she could.

“Well, wait a moment!” he laughed. “I want to see what’s inside.”

A sick feeling crept into Cora’s stomach as she turned to wait for what would surely be the worst moment of her life. The queen mother’s sudden gasp was all Cora needed to start her tears rolling, and the murmurs and snickers of the crowd only made it worse.

“Muddy dancing slippers? Whyever would he want those?”

“What is that charred mess? Is it a half-burned book?”

“Oh, dear, the stupid thing has given him an old dead flower. What was she thinking?”

Cora stood there alone, feeling as ugly and foolish as ever a child has felt, until she heard her king silence his people.

“Hush,” he said, as soft as it was stern. “Cora, love, come here.”

Slowly, sullenly, Cora stepped from the disdainful crowd, ready to be ridiculed by the king, too.

“Look at me, dearest.” Pulling her eyes away from their safe spot on her feet, she looked at her king and saw no anger in his eyes, not even amusement. There were tears there, though Cora couldn’t think why. “What is all this?”

“It’s everything. It’s the pieces of the bowl I broke and the book I threw in the fire when I couldn’t read all the words. I knew you wanted me to learn to dance but I couldn’t dance for you because I ruined my shoes playing in the mud, so I put those in, too. I would have given you back the ring you gave me but I traded it to Colette so she’d do my chores for me for a week.”

“And the rose?”

“I stole it.” Cora’s voice was so soft only the king and his mother could hear. “I stole it from your garden and I wanted to give it back.”

“Oh, Cora. Cora, it’s beautiful.”

“What? The rose?” Cora felt sure she must have heard wrong.

“All of it. It’s the most beautiful gift of them all. You see, everyone else gave me something lovely, and I was very pleased by the cakes and books and poems and such. But you gave me your heart. You had nothing to give and so you gave me your nothingness. I love it.”

Cora’s heart thrilled to hear the king’s words, but she couldn’t understand them. How could he like her gift of ugly brokenness? No, he was just being kind. Cora managed half a smile before disappearing back into the crowd. She pushed past her curious neighbors, all asking what the king had said and why she hadn’t found something better, until she found a door that led her outside. Cora pulled her shawl tight around her shoulders, sat against the wall, and wondered. “You gave me your heart,” he had said. What did he mean?

She was still thinking some time later, her teeth chattering and her fingers blue with cold, when she heard a familiar voice call her name. Looking up, she saw the king and wondered how he’d managed to sneak away from the crowds.

“Cora, come with me. I have something to show you.” He took her hand and led her through a gate she hadn’t noticed, down passageway after passageway, until they found themselves in a long hall.

“Look,” the king said, and led her to the far wall.

2014-10-22 16.40.00There, Cora saw her village, not as it was but as it should be, without ruts in the lanes or broken fence posts. The flowers were in bloom, the creek glistening, and the faces radiant. As Cora approached, she saw that the image was made of a thousand little things—scraps of fabric, bits of paper, stones, even—

“My bowl!” Cora cried. “Those pieces in the creek—the shiny blue bits. Those are from my broken bowl!”

“They are,” the king agreed.

“And there, that book lying open on the bench. That has pages from my burnt book!”

“It does.”

“But…why?”

“I make ugly things new. I make broken things beautiful. Everything you offer me, even the ugly and broken—especially the ugly and broken—can become something beautiful.”

“But everyone laughed. They said it was stupid!”

“They don’t know, Cora. They don’t know that my power is made perfect in weakness. They don’t understand that the most beautiful thing they can offer me is their hearts, even when it seems there’s nothing there to give.”

“But you haven’t used it all, have you? Where’s my rose?”

“I haven’t used that yet. Maybe one day I’ll show you where I put it. But you don’t need to know how I use it, do you? Isn’t it enough to know that I will?”

“I guess so. And my muddy shoes?”

“Ah, those are in the palace treasury.”

Cora’s heart sank again. She knew not everything could be made right. “The palace trash heap? I guess that’s only fair.”

“No, dearest, not the trash heap. The treasury! Those I will not use. I want to keep them. They are very dear to me because I know how much it cost you to give them. You will have new dancing shoes again—some day—but those shoes will stay here. And every time I see them I will be grateful once again that you gave them to me.”

“Even though they’re dirty and ugly?”

Because they’re dirty and ugly. I am, you know, in the business of making things new.”

After that day, Cora’s life was different. Except when it wasn’t. Some years she had a lovely gift to offer the king. Other years she brought a box of brokenness. And either way, the king smiled. Because, as it turned out, he didn’t want Cora’s gift. He wanted her heart. And Cora was glad to give it to him.

From One Refugee to Another

The other day, I was scrolling through Facebook and stumbled across this reflection from a young man I met while hoboing, reprinted here with permission. I think Stephen’s thoughts are important in terms of both our response to refugees and our understanding of our relationship to this world. He’s not talking about the politics of how to vet refugees or help them to integrate into society, he’s talking about compassion. I’m convicted.

The statement about how America is a nation of refugees and immigrants and therefore it is fundamental that we should open our doors to the needy is important, as is the argument that Christians should extend charity to the needy regardless of whether they are our countryman or a foreigner because all people are our neighbors, but I want to point out a problem with both of these arguments for the Christian. Actually, a fundamental problem with these arguments from the perspective of any Abrahamic religion. Bear with me.

Both these arguments, “we are Americans/we are Christians: our country should be welcoming,” are fundamentally false because, for any follower of Abraham’s God, this is not our country.

IMG_20151208_154307A refugee is someone who has lost their native land and has been forced to wander, looking for a home. To be human is to be a refugee because this is not our true country. We are not citizens of this earth. Once we were, but those days have long been lost to us. Ever since we willingly gave the throne of this world to the Adversary we have been refugees in flight, desperately seeking a new country.

Now for Christians there is hope. We believe Jesus came into the world, laid siege to the bastion of Satan, and broke through. He has called us to a new home, our true Home, beyond this world. There we are seeking to be, not here.

So please, my brothers and sisters in Christ, remember this: when you consider helping a person in need you are not considering welcoming a refugee into your home. You cannot. You have no home. You are extending a hand to a fellow refugee as you both flee the same evil, and perhaps sharing with him the Way to safety. You and he are both in flight, and both hope against all hope that when you reach the walls of the True Country its Ruler will be merciful and open the gate.

Stephen Brown is a Christian, a husband, a father, and a med student, hopefully in that order.

Advent Stillness: 7 Ways to Slow Down During the Busiest Time of the Year

Ah, Advent. Candlelit evenings curled up with a good book. Long vigils in darkened chapels. Darkness and silence and sweet anticipation as you prepare for the Lord’s coming.

Right?

Not this century. Here it’s shopping and wrapping and baking and driving and endless Christmas programs and parties and no time for anticipation because there are too many Pinterest projects to perfect! These days we jump into Christmas before we’ve finished our Halloween candy and nobody’s got a second to prepare for anything but a frenzy of expensive presents we don’t need. And maybe you’re praying more this Advent or reading some great book, but do you feel like it’s Advent? Not without silence and stillness and really slowing down. And that doesn’t happen unless you fight for it.

Advent stillness

1. Delete (or hide) social media apps from your phone.

I’ve been doing this for 3 days and I’m loving it! All I did was remove the icons from my home screen and decide that I’m only going to open Facebook and the like when I’ve got 20 minutes to devote to it. This means that I don’t scroll through my news feed when waiting in line. Or while playing with kids. Or the second I get into my car. Or whatever. Yesterday was a fairly empty day and I went 12 hours without checking Facebook–which left me with a lot of time just to be. It’s amazing how different life is when you’re not using every spare second to distract yourself.

2. Don’t give Christmas presents.

Well, that’s not exactly what I mean. Obviously I’m in favor of Christmas presents. But what if you gave them for Epiphany instead? What if instead of spending Advent dashing desperately through the mall before settling on junk that nobody needs, you spent Advent preparing for Jesus and went shopping after Christmas, when you’ve got time off work and everything’s on sale?

3. Turn off the radio.

I’ve got nothing against Christmas music in Advent,1 but silence is a much better preparation for the coming of the King than Jingle Bell Rock. Turn off the radio this month–all the time or for some specified period daily–and just be.

4. Check out an audio book.

Instead of watching TV, try listening to a book when you’re sitting around in the evenings–or baking/crocheting/wrapping. It’s a slower pace and much less stimulating, so you’ll find yourself more relaxed. It’s also easier to step away from, which might increase the amount of sleep you get. Plus, you can try to find something worthwhile, which is hard to do on Netflix. Check out LibriVox for free books in the public domain. The Other Wise Man or The Gift of the Magi would be good seasonal selections from the classics, and they’ve also got collections of short Christmas-themed stories. Or swing by your library (physically or electronically) for a newer selection.

5. Start your day differently.

If you’re anything like me, your default is to grab your phone and check notifications just as soon as you’ve turned off the alarm. That way you hit the ground running–and with nary a moment to be recollected. Try starting instead with some focused prayer or reflection:

  • Pray morning prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours.
  • Pick one verse of Scripture to read first thing and come back to it throughout the day–at every meal, perhaps, or every time you get in the car. Then before bed, jot down what you learned from that Scripture.
  • Read the Gospel for the day.
  • Once December 17th hits, try reading my reflections on the O Antiphons from a few years ago.

2015-12-02 05.13.216. Pray the St. Andrew Novena.

This novena should have started on November 30th, but it’s also way longer than 9 days, so we’ll call it good if you want to start today. The idea is that you pray this prayer 15 times a day. It sounds like a lot, but it’s so short and I’ve found that if I space it out throughout the day, it makes a beautiful rhythm of sudden stillness throughout my day.

I’ve got this set as my only goal for my new app (Habit Bull) whose icon has replaced my Facebook icon on my phone’s home screen. Then when I have a second and automatically pull out my phone, I find myself once again at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold. And it’s my lock screen, just in case I was tempted to forget that it’s Advent. Save this image and do the same!

St Andrew Christmas Novena

7. Swing by the chapel.

Adding something else to your schedule won’t actually make you less busy, of course. But stopping by each day for ten minutes of silence (or once a week for an hour if it’s too far out of your way to pull off daily) will slow down your racing mind and focus your heart back on him. And that is the whole purpose of Advent.

  1. For you, that is. I won’t touch the stuff. []

Gifts for God-Lovers

I ran into some friends at Mass today and suggested that we get breakfast afterwards.

“But nowhere in a strip mall,” I cautioned. “We can’t park on Black Friday.”

They suggested Panera, which I pointed out was across from Best Buy, where you’ll find some of the worst Black Friday mania. I argued fruitlessly and finally insisted that we take one car so that when there was no parking we could stay together.

The lot was maybe a quarter full. Turns out Black Friday isn’t really a thing in Hollywood, Maryland.

If you’re anything like me, you’re avoiding malls like the plague today. That doesn’t keep your post-Thanksgiving mind from turning to Christmas shopping, though. And while I’m not so great at giving presents in general, I am pretty good when it comes to sacred gifts. So if you’ve got people on your list who love the Lord and want to love him more, read on!

For kids:

If you’re a parent or a godparent (or an aunt or a family friend or whatever), your job is to get these little ones to heaven. I’m pretty convinced that (aside from teaching them to pray) storytelling and holy play are the ways to do it. So buy them incredible books (these are my favorites) and holy toys and teach them the wonder of a life following God.

Almondrod blocksMy hands down, bar-none, buy-every-one-you-can-get favorites are my friend Lindsey’s beautiful blocks. I’ve told you about them before but she’s made some great improvements! Now the crafty among you can order the images and make your own blocks at a dramatic savings–if you get 12 people together for an order, each of you can make a full set1 for only $16.33 plus the cost of wood and shellac. That’s insane! She’s also got a great wooden Mass kit for your kids who like to play Mass.2 And from now through Monday, if you write Ora pro Papa in the notes section of your order (and pray for the Pope) you’ll get a free block! Hurry–last year she had to close her shop by December 8th and you don’t want to miss out.3

Felicity

For book lovers:

For intellectuals:

On Being CatholicMy favorite book (yes, that is a terrifying thing to say, but I think it’s true) is On Being Catholic by Thomas Howard. His vocabulary is so ridiculous that I keep a dictionary close at hand when I read it, but it’s just beautiful. It’s the love letter of a convert to his Church and an excellent choice for someone who already loves being Catholic or a Protestant who’s open to learning more. It’s not hard-hitting apologetics, just poetry with truth at its heart.

For people who want to be saints:

My next favorite is The Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ by St. Alphonsus Liguori (you can actually get it for 99 cents on Kindle but do be sure to get this translation). This book is so beautiful and challenging that I can’t read more than 5 minutes without needing to stop and pray. I once quit reading this book because I didn’t want to finish it but I missed it too much so when I did finish it I just started over again from the beginning. Buy it for yourself immediately, then throw a copy for a friend in, too.

For people who want to know the Saints:

Modern SaintsI’m kind of obsessed with the Saints, which you probably know if you listen to my podcast at all. I’ve been getting more and more into them but my desperate love of them was really spurred on by these books: Modern Saints (volumes 1 and 2) by Ann Ball. I’ve been recommending them left, right, and center because the stories are short and well-written–to the point that I really have trouble putting them down.4 Anyone who likes Saints or stories or history should love these, and at 6 bucks used, what’s not to like?

For lovers of fiction:

The Robe by Lloyd C. Douglas changed the way I pray, the way I speak, the way I evangelize. It was responsible for this post and for the best rosary of my life. It’s a novelized story of the centurion who crucified Jesus and what he suffered and learned afterwards and it’s simply captivating. The stories of the Gospel have never been so alive for me.

For parents:

If you know a couple who love the Lord and are trying to raise kids who feel the same, there’s nothing better you can do than encourage them to pray together and with their kids. Trouble is, most Catholics aren’t sure how to do this. Amazon to the rescue! (To be fair, I haven’t had a chance to read either of these books, but they come highly recommended from sources I trust, so I’m buying them sight unseen and I think you should, too.)

  • Short guide to prayingA Short Guide to Praying as a Family, by the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia, has information for beginners in prayer as well as suggestions for the more advanced. The pictures are beautiful–beautiful–and the one section I read (on praying as a couple) was fantastic.
  • The Little Oratory gets incredible reviews, including from my friend Anamaria who writes book reviews for her diocesan paper and says it’s the only book she’s ever given 5 stars to. That’s enough for me.

I could go on and on about what books I love–and I have! Check out my suggestions here:

For everyone:

  • Sacred art! Find an Etsy shop you like (these are sweet and rather whimsical), find beauties by the great masters and search for prints, or get yourself a real icon (these hand-written Orthodox ones are lovely). Surrounding your children (or just yourself) with the beauty of the faith is so important.
  • chews lifeDevotional jewelry–medals and crucifixes and chaplet bracelets–can be beautiful, particularly once you start finding creative stuff on Etsy. I especially love the vintage look over at this shop. Or go to Organic Mama and get a beautiful rosary bracelet for mom (with a prayer-marker so she can remember where she was when someone suddenly needed a drink) and a fantastic chewable one for her baby. I love that.
  • Sacred music, for those who can only listen to “All I Want for Christmas Is You” so many times. The Benedictine nuns have some beautiful CDs for those with more traditional taste, while Matt Maher‘s a great choice if you like contemporary stuff. And my friend Joe is a legit Catholic hip hop artist.

For someone who has everything:

What about giving a real gift–one that you pick out specifically–that doesn’t technically go to the recipient? Some people will love being given a charitable donation, and here are some great ways to do it:

When I was a kid, we used to love giving to Heifer International, where you could send a gift of livestock to a family to get them on their feet. Going through the catalog and deciding between bunnies and a goat was thrilling for me, and I’m sure your kids will love it, too. It would make a great present for Grandma, or maybe as a Christmas gift you could give each child $10 to donate and they could pool their money to help others.

Catholic Relief Services5 has a similar concept with all kinds of aid you can offer, from tuition to prenatal care to fruit trees.

I don’t have a favorite charity for refugees yet, but the Catholic Near East Welfare Association does great work for those who are still in the Middle East and you can pick the region your donation serves.

But I’m an amateur at this–just throwing together a few favorites instead of shopping on Black Friday. You know who’s a pro? Jessica at Shower of Roses. Head over and see a few hundred more suggestions that will really finish up your shopping list.

  1. Select 72 images form the drop-down menu []
  2. Pro tip for those whose girls want to play Mass: make or buy a costume beard and tell them they can pretend to be a priest as long as they’re wearing the beard. Avoids confusion. []
  3. She pays me nothing for this. I’m just obsessed. Seriously, ask any one of my friends. I show this picture of St. Felicity like she’s my own child. []
  4. She’s introduced me to so many new friends I’ve half a mind to hunt her down and thank her, though the books are 30 years old, so that might prove a challenge. []
  5. I know they’ve been under fire in recent years, but the Bishops are satisfied with their explanation and so am I. []

Advent Boot Camp 2015

I put out an Advent Boot Camp two years ago and the response was great, so I thought I’d do it again. Just a little tweaking since Christmas isn’t always the same day of the week. Read the intro here or just dive right in and prepare for the Spirit to pump you up.1

This “Advent Boot Camp” is a guideline, not a foolproof plan. Feel free to substitute anything. What’s essential is that you’re spending time in silent prayer–not just prayer but silent prayer–and that you’re easing into it.

Each day’s prayer starts with a 5 minute warmup. It’s hard just to snap from all the noise of the world into prayer, so take some time to slow down, talk to the Lord about what’s weighing on you, and get quiet. Then see what God has to say to you through his Word, his Saints, and the prayers of his Church. Finally, spend some good time in silence, either processing what you’ve read, talking to God, or trying to be still in his presence. If your prayer life has consisted solely of grace before meals and Mass on Sunday, this might be tough. But it will get easier. And what better time to seek silence than in the mad bustle leading up to Christmas?

Advent boot campWeek 1: Begin each day with 5 minutes of prayer, make one chapel visit

  • Day 1: 5 minute warmup; Isaiah 40; 5 minutes silence
  • Day 2: 5 minute warmup; Isaiah 9:1-6; one decade of the rosary, 5 minutes silence
  • Day 3: 5 minute warmup;Luke 1:26-38; 10 minutes silence
  • Day 4: 5 minute warmup; Catechism 522-526; one decade of the rosary; 5 minutes silence
  • Day 5: 5 minute warmup; the Office of Readings ((Click the Office of Readings tab)); 5 minutes silence
  • Day 6: 5 minute warmup; Chaplet of Divine Mercy; 5 minutes silence
  • Day 7: 15 minutes of prayer: your choice

Week 2: Begin and end each day with 5 minutes of prayer, attend one extra Mass

Week 3: Begin and end each day with 5 minutes of prayer, attend two extra Masses

  • Day 15: 5 minute warmup; John 1:1-18; reading from St. Gregory Nazianzen; 10 minutes silence
  • Day 16: 25 minutes of prayer: your choice
  • Day 17: 5 minute warmup; “O Come, O Come Emmanuel”; 15 minutes silence
  • Day 18: 5 minute warmup; Isaiah 61-62; 15 minutes silence
  • Day 19: 5 minute warmup; full rosary (joyful mysteries); 5 minutes silence
  • Day 20: 5 minute warmup;the Office of Readings; 15 minutes silence
  • Day 21: 5 minute warmup; make a good examination of conscience, asking God to cast light into all the areas of sin in your life and to make you truly repentant and grateful for his love and mercy; go to confession; 15 minutes silence

Week 4: Begin and end each day with 5 minutes of prayer, make two chapel visits

  • Day 22: 5 minute warmup; memorize Isaiah 9:5 (“A child is born to us…”); 10 minutes silence
  • Day 23: 5 minute warmup; Jeremiah 31; 15 minutes silence
  • Day 24: 5 minute warmup; 15 minutes journaling on why you need the incarnation; 10 minutes silence
  • Day 25: 5 minute warmup; Isaiah 35; reading from St. Augustine; 20 minutes silence
  • Day 26: 5 minute warmup; Matthew 1:18-2:23; G.K.Chesterton “The House of Christmas”; 20 minutes silence
  • Day 27: Half an hour of prayer: your choice

I’ve compiled the non-Biblical readings here if you want to print them in advance: Advent Boot Camp readings

This is going to max you out at 30-35 minutes of prayer at one time. If you feel like you can do more than that, go for it. If you’re a beginner when it comes to non-liturgical prayer, though, this might be a good way to get started. Whether you’re interested in this approach or not, do spend some time praying about how you’re going to try to grow closer to the Lord this Advent. But don’t stress about it–it’s supposed to be a time of preparation and peace, not frantic anxiety, despite what the mall might do to you this time of year. You might consider starting to read the Bible through in a year using this schedule. Or read Caryll Houselander’s The Reed of God. Just be sure you do something more than bake and shop to prepare for Christmas this year. The Christ Child is coming, after all. Offer him your heart.

  1. Ten points if you read that in your Hans and Franz voice. []

A Moment of Grace

bonfireWe were standing around a bonfire at a remote beach, a group of Catholic college students surrounded by the sound of waves and the light of stars and nothing else. The conversation flitted past religion to politics and there we were talking about Planned Parenthood and the lies they tell and the women they hurt1 and somebody mentioned reluctant women being shepherded into the building by insistent boyfriends or husbands. All the usual pro-life rhetoric, recycled by people who were used to being agreed with.

“That’s what happened to me.”

And a pause. And I stepped toward her and she fell into my arms and wept. Wept and wept like a mother who’s lost her child. And the chatter stopped. As I held her and spoke gently to her, the dozen people circling us stood in silence and I knew—knew—that we were cocooned in prayer.

“Oh, dear heart. Your baby forgives you. You are beautiful and you are so loved. And this doesn’t define you. Nobody blames you. Your baby loves you. God forgives you. And he loves you so much.”

I don’t remember exactly what I said. It must have been five minutes that I held her, friends and strangers lifting us up in prayer, before she relaxed her grip and we stepped back.

“Have you been to confession?” I had to ask. Not for judgment but for healing.

“Yeah, two years after it happened.”

“Then you are forgiven. Absolutely and completely forgiven, like it never happened. And these people here? They love you. Just as much as before—more, even. And if anybody—anybody—ever tries to hold this in your face you hold up the cross that Jesus hung your sin on and you call them out as a heretic. Because that’s not yours to carry anymore and saying otherwise is just plain heresy. You’ve been made new. And one day you’re going to meet your baby and there isn’t going to be any judgment or shame, only joy.”

And she told us the situation—a school that would have kicked her out and a boyfriend who threatened to kill himself and her friends who’d chosen life and how jealous she was. And then she said that it’s hard to hear people talking about Planned Parenthood and not feel attacked. And we promised her that we were saying just what she felt—that we wanted her not to have thought that was the choice she had to make. We wanted her loved and supported through a pregnancy, not shuffled along to a procedure she’ll never stop regretting. And we listened and eventually laughed and the conversation moved on.

It was a beautiful moment. A healing moment. There was so much grace. But it’s a reminder: you never know. One in four women is post-abortive. And you probably have no idea. Be careful, be very careful—even when you’re preaching to the choir—that nothing you say ever sounds like anything but love. This beautiful woman had the courage to tell us her story. How many don’t? How many suffer in shame because pro-lifers glibly recite the arguments they all have memorized? Those arguments whitewash the pain of millions of mothers and fathers, some of whom maybe be standing on the edge of your self-congratulatory conversation. Speak in love.

 

If you have had an abortion, please know this: you are loved. God is pouring his mercy on you. The Church has nothing but forgiveness to offer. Please seek healing, through confession, through counseling, through a Project Rachel retreat. And please forgive us for the times we hurt you by forgetting your pain in our zeal for the unborn. We love you. You matter. And you are not alone.

  1. Try this for a start, but this post isn’t really about proving that PP is bad for women. []