Congratulations on your upcoming confirmation! How exciting! In many dioceses, confirmandi are invited to pick a Saint to accompany them on this journey. If you’re hoping to find just the right Saint, here are some thoughts that might help—and might keep you from being one of the eleven kids at your confirmation who pick the same Saint.
First and foremost, remember this: your confirmation Saint is not the be-all and end-all of your Saintly relationships. There’s no pressure here: pick someone you love and then if you find other Saints you love later, you can add them to your Saint squad informally. But there’s no reason to stress about this!
Second, you’ll want to find out the rules for confirmation Saints in your diocese. In most dioceses you can pick a Saint or a Blessed; in some just Saints, in some anyone with an open cause for canonization, and in some any name that isn’t contrary to Christian sensibilities.
After that, it’s time to start doing some research! I obviously recommend both of my books (Saints Around the World and Pray for Us: 75 Saints who Sinned, Suffered, and Struggled on Their Way to Holiness), but I’ve got some other recommendations here. When I’m helping a godchild pick a Saint, here’s what we do:
- Before we meet to talk through it, you have to read both my books and jot down names of Saints you’re interested in. (If a kid is reluctant to be confirmed—or not much of a reader—I can work with that, but so far everyone has been down.)
- I’ll ask you what you’re thinking and we’ll talk about the Saints you like, from the books or otherwise.
- I’ll draw out some common themes I see in what you highlight, then ask what else you might be looking for.
-A certain profession? Hobbies? Sports? Academic interests? Personality types?
-Any health issues (physical or mental) that might be relevant? Family difficulties? Personal struggles?
-If you’re comfortable sharing, what are some sins you struggle with? What elements of your personality need some purification? Maybe pride or anger?
(Note: I always make it clear that they don’t have to tell me and I always suggest sins that aren’t so hard to talk about. Often this has already come out by this point, but many people really appreciate a Saint with similar struggles. So we find Saints who had similar struggles and overcame them—or at least continued pursuing holiness in spite of them. We also find Saints who were the opposite, whose natural inclination was to holiness in those areas. We talk about how it’s good to have both kinds of Saint friends, the ones you can admire and try to imitate and the ones who you know understand your struggle.) - Are you looking for a particular gender/race/cultural background/vocation?
- What do you want from your Saint long term? Do you want:
-a Saint with lots of writings you can read?
-a Saint with lots of books about him?
-a popular Saint with lots of merch? (Medals, art, t-shirts, etc)
-a less popular Saint you can introduce to people?
-a Saint you can learn a ton about or one we don’t know much about whose story is succinct?
-are you okay with a Saint whose story is mostly legend or do you think that will bother you down the road? - As we go, I tell stories and jot down names of Saints who resonate with you.
- Once we’ve got a good solid list, we’ll mark each one yes/no/maybe, crossing off each no.
- We’ll research the ones still on the list, finding podcasts and articles and translating websites and even discovering books and music that they wrote and checking those out. We’ll even look at their pictures to see if any of this helps one Saint take the lead.
- Usually at this point we’ll take a break for Mass or dinner, then come back, repeating step seven until we’ve got a very short list. Then we keep talking until there’s a clear front-runner (or take a break for a few days and let things percolate). And then you’ve got your Saint!
This can be trickier if you don’t have a Saint-obsessed godmother, but hopefully reading a few books and doing some good googling (looking for athlete saints here and here or musician Saints here, for example) will help you find just the right Saint for you. Good luck!
