One downside to being a hobo is that there’s no vetting parishes before deciding to go to Mass there. Whether it’s stopping at a parish in Kentucky because its noon Mass fit my 12-hour drive or going to the only church in Abilene, KS, I don’t always have a lot of choice in the matter. And when I do, I don’t tend to have enough information that I can avoid sketchy parishes. The result, of course, is that I go to a lot of…trying Masses.
One particularly frustrating Mass got me thinking, some time after the rain stick and before I noticed half a dozen adults chewing gum. As I tried to ignore the murmured conversations all around me (because, really, why listen to the Mass?), the Lord reminded me that there’s very little that can ruin the Mass. Oh, there’s plenty that can ruin my focus or my prayer or even the state of my soul if I let it, but almost nothing actually has the power to ruin the goodness that is the Mass.
Things that can’t ruin Mass (although not for lack of trying):1
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Not even seafoam carpeting and cinder block walls can ruin Mass. I promise. Ugly sanctuaries. And not just the brown brick monstrosities of my youth. I’m talking a picture of MLK Jr. hanging to the right of the altar. However much you respect the work he did, the man is not a Saint.
- People chewing gum. Never okay in a house of worship, but I’m sure you knew that.
- People dressed immodestly. Leggings are not pants and if you’re convinced that shorts are Sunday-Mass-appropriate, please do make sure that they cover your butt. Also, what’s with all the cleavage at Mass? Or anywhere, for that matter? I tell you, friends, I just don’t get it.
- Cell phones going off. Even when people answer them and talk about how they’re leaving church as they walk out on their phone. Yup, been there.
- Screaming kids. By which I usually mean fussing kids whose parents scoop them up and out of the sanctuary but still get dirty looks. But even the ones who are totally indulged, driving their matchbox cars up and down the pews making screeching noises can’t ruin Mass.
- Illicit liturgy. I’m talking pita bread Jesus, the congregation sitting through the whole Mass, lay people proclaiming the Gospel, the priest receiving communion after everybody else–I begin to think I really have seen it all.
- Bad music. I’m rather a musical snob, so when I hear a cantor who’s a quarter step flat for a whole psalm, a pianist who doesn’t understand rests, or a guitarist playing in the wrong time signature, it’s a challenge to me. And Catholics aren’t exactly known for their music….
- Heretical music. “I myself am the bread of life…” Okay, fine, John 6. “…You and I are the bread of life!” What? No. We aren’t. That doesn’t even make sense! Seriously?
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If I hear that one again, I’ll text this to the deacon. Heretical preaching. I actually heard an Easter homily once where the deacon preached that Jesus didn’t rise from the dead. It doesn’t get much worse than that.
- Obnoxious neighbors. You know–the ones who say all the responses reallysuperfast or the ones who seem to be boycotting the new translation or the ones who spend the whole offertory chatting about Kendra’s new boyfriend. I’m of the opinion that the only reason you talk during Mass is if, say, one of your limbs falls off and you have to whisper to your neighbor to please hand it back to you. Otherwise, not a word.
Plenty of these things, of course, might ruin your experience of Mass, but ultimately Mass is not about your experience. It’s about the objective truth of God made man made food for us. And if it’s a valid Mass,2 it is quite literally the most incredible thing ever to happen in the history of the world. When we’re dealing with a glory so stunning as the Eucharist, even the most heinous of liturgical practices can’t ruin it.
Now don’t get me wrong–good liturgy is at the heart of our faith and reverence is tremendously important.3 But when I let these relatively inconsequential things frustrate me, I’m worshiping music or rubrics or proper attire at the expense of God. And really, I’m letting the devil win. When you go to Mass, you strike a blow at Satan; when you spend your Mass frustrated or judgmental, he deflects it. And then some.
So when is Mass awful? When it isn’t Mass.
- If the priest uses any words other than “this is my body” and “this is the chalice of my blood” for the “consecration.”4
- If the priest “consecrates” anything other than wheat bread or grape wine.5
- If the “priest” isn’t a priest.
That’s it. No matter how bad the music, how dull the preaching, or how rude the congregation, if the form,6 the matter,7 and the minister8 are correct, God shows up. And if the God of the universe becomes an inanimate object for you, stopping at nothing to be with you, then no amount of human failure ought to rob you of of your Eucharistic joy. A valid Mass, my friends, can never be awful.9 The congregation or the preaching or the music or you can be awful, but the Mass isn’t about you. It’s about God. And he is faithful, even when we’re pathetic.
So what should you do? Well, I’m a big fan of making imaginary excuses for people.10 Or finding ways not to be distracted. Or, if it’s possible, shopping around for a licit Mass with a reverent congregation.
But it really comes down to your attitude. If you approach the Mass like it’s an opportunity for you to be entertained or enlightened or pacified, you’re doing it wrong. If you’re making a mental list of liturgical abuses, I sympathize, but I remind you: unless you’re a bishop,11 you are not the liturgy police. You are the faithful. And while it would be wonderful if everything was done right and everybody really did what they ought, making that your standard for a “good” Mass is pharisaism at best and idolatry at worst.
If you approach the Mass like you’re approaching the throne of God, though, everything that’s “wrong” with a particular liturgy fades into the background. If you offer God your frustrations in atonement for your sins, if you close your eyes and beg for the grace to focus on him and not on them, if you remember that God loves us in our brokenness and wants everything we have to offer even if it’s awful, if you remind yourself over and over that however Father might embellish the Mass you’re still truly present at the Last Supper, the Crucifixion, and the Wedding Feast of the Lamb–well, just think of the grace!
Now if you’re in a position to do anything about any of the above, please do. Make announcements about gum, preach about proper attire, ban liturgical abuses. But if you’re like most of us, with no power to change anyone but yourself and–maybe–your family, don’t let propriety trump worship. Recognize what’s wrong if you must and then look back to Christ crucified for you. In the face of that, what else really matters?
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Last week I mentioned that I wanted to go to Wyoming and now I am! So I’ll try it again: I really want to go to New Mexico and South Dakota but I have nobody to visit and they’re not on my way. Anybody want me to come speak? (Or anywhere else out West, really, but I’ve got every other state covered as far as excuses to go there.)
- Every single one of these examples has really truly happened to me. [↩]
- Meaning Jesus actually shows up. You’ve probably never been to an invalid Mass. I think I went to one once but I’m not positive that it wasn’t just hugely illicit. [↩]
- Half the reason I wrote this post was to point out what isn’t appropriate at Mass. And please, before you get upset that I’m saying it’s not a big deal when things are illicit, I know that it’s a huge deal because the Mass is so important and it needs to be done right. I’m just saying that relative to the Eucharist, who is God himself, liceity is nothing. Because relative to the Eucharist, everything is nothing. I’m advocating perspective, not anarchy. [↩]
- My friend once went to a “Mass” where the priest said “this is the cup of my life.” No transubstantiation, no Mass. Lame. [↩]
- Leavened bread in the Roman Rite is illicit–against the rules–but not invalid. If a priest tries to consecrate cornbread, though, it’s not Jesus. [↩]
- Words. “This is my body,” “this is the cup of my blood.” [↩]
- Stuff: wheat bread, grape wine. [↩]
- A validly ordained priest–by necessity, a Catholic man. [↩]
- Except in the archaic sense of inspiring awe, in which case every Mass is awful, most especially when it’s glorious. [↩]
- “He must have gotten stuck in traffic and not had time to change and that’s why he’s wearing sweatpants and a cutoff tee to Sunday Mass.” “They’re probably chewing gum because they’ve never been in a church before and they don’t know proper etiquette.” “Maybe Father’s never read the rubrics.” “That 10-year-old playing her handheld game must have special needs.” [↩]
- In which case oh my gosh hi and you’re amazing and thanks for reading my blog wanna be my best friend?!?!? [↩]
Morning Meg.South Dakota was where my first parish was. I LOVE SD. There is a great monastary near Aberdeen.And the Badlands National Park. And Sturgis when all the bikers AREN’T there.And the Corn Palace in Mitchell.And Wall Drug And the little town of Lemmon in the NW corner where Kathleen Norris used to luve. Since I am not RC (obviusly, I’m a woman pastor) I’m not the best “travel agent” in that regard, but have a blessed trip
Thanks for the tips! And I love speaking to Protestant groups, too–it’s the same Jesus, after all 🙂
#7. Makes Chris and I shudder every time. I have great respect for anyone who is willing to stand up and sing in front of a bunch of people (especially because I don’t), but some people just need to realize (or be told) that singing is perhaps not their thing.
That first photo looks similar to the GT Catholic Center, I think. And the last photo is really great!
This is the GTCC. My home away from home.
http://images2.snapfish.com/232323232%7Ffp54398%3Enu%3D4373%3E468%3E434%3EWSNRCG%3D364359%3C%3B7834%3Bnu0mrj
Soccer cleats are one of my pet peeves. I mean, c’mon. It messes them up to be worn off a soccer field, and it messes up whatever you walk on. You couldn’t put a pair of sandals or sneakers in the car for later? And if you didn’t, maybe you should consider walking in your socks, once you are inside?
Also. Chewing gum. OH MY GOSH CHEWING GUM. It’s bad enough at any place of worship, but if you are about to receive Jesus into your body? Do you really want him to get stuck in your gum and then thrown away? How many different sins is that?
And sticking the gum under your pew—well, I used to know a priest who regularly assigned teenagers the penance of scraping the chewing gum out from under pews. God bless him. He’s dead now, so pray for him, okay?
I understand that it isn’t the wisest of choices to put the picture in the church, but how do you know MLKJr. isn’t a Saint? The definition of a saint is anyone in heaven. With that being said we have no idea what he said before his death or what God’s judgement was for him. For all we know Hitler or Bin Laden could be in heaven.
Being a saint isn’t the same as being a Saint. We don’t hang pictures of someone’s great aunt Lucy just because she was godly. “Recognized” saints preferred, especially the patron saint of a parish.
If appropriate, maybe hang MLK Jr’s picture in the parish hall or something. But not in the worship area.
Good point. A saint is anyone who’s in heaven. A Saint is someone whom the Church has officially declared to be in heaven. Given that being Catholic is a prerequisite to the latter, I can’t imagine we’ll ever see the process begun for Dr. King. Whether or not he’s in heaven certainly isn’t mine to judge but unless the Church tells us he is, his image shouldn’t be enthroned in a sanctuary. Thanks for the point of clarification!
Thanks for this post. I have so many “pet peeves” about the way people behave in church. But you are right on target. Their behavior should NOT be my focus or be allowed to affect the fact that this is the Mass. God is there. Jesus comes to us in the Eucharist. That is what matters.
Joni recently posted…Scriptures Speaking to Me
I like your game of making up excuses for people. I try to remember the quote to “be kind; for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” I know that usually the real reason is ignorance, or laziness, or malice; but if I can’t do anything about it, it makes my head feel better to create better excuses.
Rabia @ TheLiebers recently posted…Benjamin’s Birthday Bash!
What about in extreme situations, like on battlefields or in concentration camps? I think I remember St. Maximilian Kolbe (one of my favorites!) celebrating Mass with pretty much whatever he could get his hands on.
Hey, that comment was supposed to go to Meg’s low-gluten comment. No fair!
It has to be wheat bread and grape wine, always and no matter what. “Whatever he could get his hands on” may have been a small piece of leavened bread and wine made from raisins, but it was certainly wheat bread and grape wine. Many of the priests in similar situations went years without celebrating Mass because they couldn’t get their hands on wine or raisins to make it from.
Hey lady! Interesting stuff. I once went to a Polka Mass. No joke, the Memorial Acclamation was set to the tune of “Beer Barrel Polka.” Hard not to die laughing inside.
I had a quick question about wheat bread (hosts)-I know that some parishes will consecrate gluten-free hosts for parishioners with celiac. I’m assuming they’re not wheat, since wheat is glutenous. That can’t be illicit, can it?
If they were completely gluten-free, they wouldn’t be wheat bread anymore, which would make them invalid. But “gluten-free” hosts are actually just low gluten, so low that most sufferers of celiac disease will have no reaction. If you’re that sensitive, you just have to skip the host and receive from the cup.
And a Polka Mass? Shoot!
I was just saying this to Mike this past Sunday! We just moved to a new parish, and I told him I got a bit of a “cafeteria feel” from the congregation. And I told him that I know that Mass isn’t for my entertainment, and I need to work on not caring about what others are doing. Thanks for the confirmation!
With that being said, I have been considering veiling as a way to keep myself focused. So, praying about that one.
Jenna@CallHerHappy recently posted…Ellen Chatter
Re: #5 Screaming Kids
I almost always welcome any and all children, especially infants and toddlers. Entire families attending Mass together is more important than your irritation.
Re: #7 Bad Music
This is a bit harsh. I always tell my children, that if you don’t like the way I sound, then *you* sing louder so you can’t hear me.
Peace,
Randy
When people tell me they don’t sing at church because they sound bad, I tell them, “God gave you that voice, you just give it right on back. If he doesn’t like it, he’ll change it.”
Many who sing well got there by first singing badly.
Christian recently posted…Linus, Cletus, Clement, Sixtus, Cornelius
At our Easter Vigil the cantor who sang the Litany of Saints hesitatingly read “Saint Martin Luther…King?” and we all were so confused and couldn’t help but bust out laughing in the choir loft. Not sure what she was supposed to say or how he got on the list, but… yeah.
How strange! I suppose Martin Luther King’s closer to making that list than Martin Luther is….
Wow….where was this?
Christian LeBlanc recently posted…Linus, Cletus, Clement, Sixtus, Cornelius
Diocese of Brooklyn. I later heard it was some kind of mix up where they were trying to recognize peacemakers and such alongside the Saints, but the cantor got confused? It was probably not great planning, as there are many other appropriate times/places to recognize people besides the Easter Vigil. Curious to see what happens this year.
I feel better. I think.
Christian recently posted…Linus, Cletus, Clement, Sixtus, Cornelius
NM is beautiful! Come visit us! Especially in October during Balloon Fiesta!
Love this post!
Thanks for sharing!
Most sufferers of celiac cannot have any form of wheat. They can’t have any cross-contamination whatsoever. So it wouldn’t work. Sad that they can’t take part.
This list makes me so sad! I believe that every single person who attends mass does so because they want to be closer to the Lord and work toward amending their faults. Everyone deserves to pray and partake in the mass without being judged by fellow participants! I agree with you that some of these are just plain bad manners (chewing gum especially), but on some others your criticism is very harsh!
#3 — Not every church is blessed with abundantly talented cantors or musicians to share their gifts (mine included!) but I love the music that my congregation makes — off pitch, out of tempo and all! I love to hear the joy in people’s voices as they praise God!
#10 — My family lives in Florida and a majority of our fellow parishoners are senior citizens. Many people are having a very hard time learning the words to the new translation, and I can’t blame them! They said they old words for decades, and the new ones for less than a year and a half. You have to keep a sense of humor. At least a dozen people will still shout out “and also with you!” (instead of “and with your spirit”) and my husband and I just exchange little smiles. Be patient. Their mistake does not make them “obnoxious.”
#8 — “You and I are the bread of life” in my opinion, means that you and I are the CHURCH. And as we know, Christ is one with the church. This one is just my personal interpretation of the lyrics.
I really don’t want to write anything harsh or that will make you feel bad, but I feel like this question needs to be posed: Do you ever stop to consider that while you’re busy being annoyed about chewing gum, rowdy kids, and cell phones, at the same time YOU are ruining mass for yourself by judging others instead of taking the time to be close to the Lord and love all of his people as Jesus instructed? Please, practice some kindness and patience instead of judgement.
I hope you’ll have safe travels on both your physical and spiritual journey in life.
Oh, dear–it wasn’t my intent at all to attack people but to point out that even when it’s really, really hard to love the Mass it’s still lovable. I really appreciate your kind tone. Would you mind reading the whole post again–not just the list–and telling me if it makes more sense in that context? I’m trying to point out that we get ourselves all worked up over things that are out of our control and forget the incredible gift of Christ in the Eucharist. Believe me, I work very hard to love the people around me–especially at Mass–and imagine every possible excuse for inappropriate behavior so that I can be more patient, so I’m totally with you. See footnote 10 or this post: https://www.piercedhands.com/learning-to-love-not-judge/ Thanks for commenting!
Dear Meg. I just recently discovered your blog. Been reading thru a few.. Enjoy your stories. I love that you evangelize nationwide… my baptist husband has always said, when you follow GOD, truly follow GOD, you need nothing. I love the fact that you live your life to give and to be love. If your ever in Austin Texas… please let me know… would love to meet you!
Thank you so much! I’m hoping to be in Austin in October, so I’ll definitely let you know 🙂
Meg!!! It’s so good to read your work. I needed to hear this one. Oh, the times I prayed for God’s grace of focus during Mass! If you ever come through KC, you have a place to stay. Sending prayer out for you tonight.
“When Mass is awful”
Not familiar with this concept.
You should really check out the Lincoln (NE) Diocese. Easily the most orthodox/conservative diocese in the country. There is never anything liturgically incorrect in the Mass.
You know what’s funny? I’ve heard that my whole life (I’m from Arlington) and then the first Mass I went to in Lincoln was illicit! Every other one was lovely, but I couldn’t help but laugh at how excited I was for Mass done right while Jesus was reminding me how lucky I am to get Mass at all.
Hi, I am not a Catholic, instead I am a Baptist-like evangelical, but on reading your list I was thinking how many of these things, or their Protestant parallel, occur in our setting as well!
Hi Meg – love, love, love this post. I get it. Reading beyond the list you made is important – you make the point that no matter what else is going on or is ‘wrong’ – the real focus is on the Mass. I’m a church musician. When our focus is on the Mass everything takes on a new light and perspective, no matter if some days are not as good as others. It doesn’t matter. God knows we are using our gifts to serve him. People are moved by the intention, not ‘performance’. I love these paragraphs especially:
“The congregation or the preaching or the music or you can be awful, but the Mass isn’t about you. It’s about God. And he is faithful, even when we’re pathetic.
But it really comes down to your attitude. If you approach the Mass like it’s an opportunity for you to be entertained or enlightened or pacified, you’re doing it wrong. If you’re making a mental list of liturgical abuses, I sympathize, but I remind you: unless you’re a bishop, you are not the liturgy police. You are the faithful.”
This deserves framing in the doorway or all churches. Love it. God bless.
Thank you so much for this article and your blog generally.
I landed here after experiencing atrocious (and loud) synthesiser music at mass, with loud neighbours having a grand old chat, and it nearly derailed me.
I am truly thankful for this blog entry.